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LETTERS FROM STEPH>
Faith and Fear
November 9, 2007
Friends, it is time again for me to step away from the roll
of Mom and write a few words of encouragement for you, and
for me. Believe me when I say that I enjoy both the writing
and God’s gift of giving it to me. Those of you who know me
well, know that I’m not one of those people who talk about
God with every sentence or praise Him verbally with every
blessing. I do have faith and I do praise God often, just
not out loud. It’s much easier for me to express to all of
you things that I know about God and experiences He has
given me in the written form. (And maybe that’s why He has
asked me to write these newsletters, to give both you and
me proof and encouragement for my faith.) I hope these
words encourage and urge you to continue in His Will. This
news-letter is about faith and fear and the constant battle
between the two in our hearts and minds. I pray that you
will have a faithful and not fearful heart and mind. If you
have any questions or comments, you can contact me at
artistmomof5@gmail.com.
Love and hugs, Steph
*****
Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though
you
do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with
an
inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the
goal of
your faith, the salvation of your souls.
-- 1 Peter 1:8-9
http://www.SearchGodsWord.org/desk/?query=1+Peter+1:8-9
THOUGHT:
Can you trust what you don't see? Of course! What kind of
question is that? Our lives depend on what we cannot see --
things
like gravity and the air we breathe, just to name two.
Faith in
Jesus is as natural as faith in each of those things. The
problem
is that our hearts are skeptical. We find it hard to
believe that
anyone divine would love us so much. Our experience says,
"If it
seems too good to be true, it is." That skepticism is just
the
twisted form of the response God longs to see from us:
"inexpressible and glorious joy." I don't know about you,
but I've
tasted both. I prefer joy over skepticism!
PRAYER:
What joy fills my heart, Father, when I anticipate what it
will
be like to be in your presence -- to have you wipe each
tear from
my eyes and to have you introduce me again to those I love
and to
those I've only known by reputation. Please never let me
outlive
that sense of anticipation and never let that hope dim in
my heart,
no matter what else may happen in my life here. In Jesus'
name I
pray. Amen.
*****
CONFESSIONS OF A NORMAL PERSON:
Frankly, today I’m scared. I believe God has called me to
volunteer at the Caring Pregnancy Center in Longview. I
don’t know if you are familiar with it but they offer
counseling and Bible Studies and of course, baby and
maternity clothes to those women who have crisis or, for
the most part, unplanned pregnancies. But what if I don’t
have the right words to say? What if I offend someone and
they have a bad experience because of me? What if they
don‘t like me? What if….
But each time I’ve tried to change my thoughts instead to:
God is in control, God wouldn’t call you to do it unless He
was also going to be there with you or Trust in him…. So
this is where Faith Not Fear comes into my life. I’m not
going to be able to see what the future brings for these
women. But God does. God is all-knowing and all-seeing. I
am (and you are) going to have to use my sound mind to
exercise my faith. My mantra, and yours, should be “God has
not given us a spirit of fear but a a spirit of power and
love and of calm and a well-balanced/sound mind and
discipline and self-control” or “Trust in Him” instead of
“What if….”
I was just thinking the other day about how I’ve changed
since God came into my life. Last week, someone said
something to me that was offensive. The old Stephanie would
have lost her temper and yelled and probably said things
she shouldn’t. The old Stephanie would have lost her mind
and her calm. But I didn’t. I just sat there quietly, ate
my salad and tried to think of something I could say that
would lovingly reveal the truth (because, of course, she
was wrong.) But I couldn’t, so I just sat there and said
nothing. Thank God He prevented me from saying or doing
something that would make them think I wasn’t living my
faith. So I praise God for His gift of calm and
self-control, a way to conquer our fear and rely on Him.
Whew! God got me through that one. And I know that if I ask
Him, He will be with me every time I use my sound mind and
self-control. Now if we can only get the kids to practice
it too……………
*****Shelby’s Space*****
VACATION. Just saying the word can bring a deep, dreamy
sigh of delight.
The thoughts of total relaxation, by a fire or on a beach
captivates in a
moment as the word Vacation is heard. But, as moms, that
pleasure is
quickly replaced by an instant list of about 40 things that
need to happen
or get purchased before embarking. We make a list and
check it twice or
thrice: run to the grocery store or the local Wal-Mart
numerous times,
picking up the last minute items that were overlooked,
arrangements are made
for the house, the mail/newspaper put on hold, homework
assignments
requested (if necessary), prescriptions filled, neighbors
told, plants
watered, bills paid, luggage borrowed, luggage packed,
laundry washed, house
cleaned (why do we insist on cleaning the home before we
leave?), perishable
foods eaten, given away or disposed of, garbage taken out,
cash withdrawn,
toiletries packed, dishwasher ran. And, for some reason,
our husbands ask
us the night before, "Why don't you just go to bed and get
up early to
finish the rest?" They can be so cute sometimes.
So, where do you even begin to prepare and pack for a month
long trip to a
third world country with your family of 5? I have learned
what is
necessary to accomplish such a feat, after preparing to
travel to Uganda,
East Africa this last summer. Well, first things first:
apply for passports
and then visas for the applicable countries. Next,
cultural training,
which was really helpful. Who would have thought that a
married man and
woman holding onto hands in public would be extremely
offensive and
unacceptable? But, yet, surprisingly, it is a very
common sight to see 2
heterosexual men holding hands. After learning about the
Ugandan culture,
it was time for our rounds of immunizations and shots,
making 3 visits as a
family to the Department of Health. Next, secure hotel in
London for our
overnight stay on our journey back to the U.S.. Then,
purchase items such
as mosquito netting, mosquito spray (lots of it), tall
rubber boots (did you
know that there are a lot of snakes in Africa?), rubber
gloves, flash lights
(very limited electricity for lighting), lots of batteries,
ponchos for the
jungle downpours, snacks for the kids for when food was not
available and so
much more.
Our family's excitement and anticipation was building even
during the
busyness of the prep work. Could this trip really be
happening? Our kids
learned that they would receive raving praises when they
would tell others
about their upcoming trip to Uganda. People were
impressed and at times
envious so it made Ty, Carly and Jess just want to spread
the news all the
more. They even made a flyer for our neighborhood,
requesting donations
for village kids where we would be spending our time
laboring, repairing
their homes. On a designated day, they walked around to
our neighbors'
front doors, collecting toys, candy and clothing in a red
wagon they pulled.
I am so proud of them.
Word began to spread all the more about our trip and a fund
raising effort
was made to collect money for the repairs and construction
materials that
would be necessary. Just enough money was raised to
repair the roofs and
paint the inside of the homes.
Really, everything was falling into perfect place.
Then, one day, while channel surfing, I stumbled upon a
news broadcast
highlighting the "unrest" in Uganda, East Africa. Shortly
after, a speaker
visited at our church, educating everyone on the child
trafficking taking
place in that same country. A few days later, when asked
by the
receptionist at the Health Department, where we were
traveling, when my
husband answered her, she gave a slight look of surprise
and shock, raising
her eyebrows.
To say the least, my "Mommy Fears" began to set in. Were
we foolish in
trading our "Mouse character" cruise passes for passports
to an unstable
third world country? What if something devastating
happened to one of the
kids? But I kept my daily, sometimes hourly, racing
thoughts of fear to
myself because, after all, I am a strong woman who does not
succumb to such
a thing.
About 2 weeks before our journey began, I had an
opportunity to go to coffee
with one of my very dear friends, Desi. The ease of our
friendship caused
me to finely broke down and confess my irrational thoughts
and deep
apprehension for our upcoming journey. She began to
reminisce about my
30th surprise birthday part at which a questionnaire game
was played, "Who
knows Shelby the best?". One of the questions asked was,
what is Shelby's
dream vacation? Options were A. Disney World or B.
Travel across Europe
or C. an African Safari. My girlfriend reminded me of
something
forgotten: A trip to Africa was my Dream Vacation. She
spurred me along in
this positive way of thinking by saying, "Isn't it exciting
for you to see
one of your dreams come true?"
Almost instantly, the need was seen to allow the fear to
dissipate,
realizing that I nearly missed out on experiencing the joy
and sweet
anticipation that can go into planning a trip such as this.
All it took
was a friendly reminder of what was really about to take
place: a
fulfillment of a long awaited desire; a chance of a
lifetime.
This made me wonder how many other times an amazing life
experience was
missed because I caved into an unnecessary fear. Even
before touching the
red dirt of Africa, a life lesson was learned.
At that moment, I made an intentional choice to expect and
believe for only
the best to take place while we were in Uganda.
And, believe it or not, that is exactly what happened.
Shelby Howard
*****
I have included this quote that Shelby has at the end of
her emails and also applies to the Faith theme:
On The Water Nation
"When we cast our bread upon the waters,
we can presume that someone downstream
whose face we may never know
will benefit from our action."
Maya Angelou
*****
Thank you again for taking the time to read the newsletter
today. I hope you got something out of it. God bless you
and peace and faith be with you.
Love and hugs, Steph
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